Balancing a Job, a Teeny Business, Planning a Wedding and Kids.

First of all, let me state for the record that I fully realize there are mothers out there with busier schedules than mine. I realize that there are single mothers who DON'T have the help that I am blessed with. I used to be one of those single mothers.

This blog is not about complaining.  This is just about my life.

I started Kittn's Purrfections in October 2010 when I had no job, a child in school, and a quiet pre-schooler at home. Immediately, I realized I was wayyy over my head. Owning a business online can be a VERY scary place. I was starting up with almost no start up cash, and a dream in my eye.

KP has had its ups and its downs, mainly from the financial side. I had no idea how steeply I was undercharging the customers, wanting only to offer FAIR prices to my fans who I had grown to laugh and cry with. Not only did they earn the title Purrfectionistas, but many earned the title of friend as well. In the process of making sure they got amazing prices, I forgot to be fair to myself.

In September 2011, my family and I hit rock bottom. My fiance'e was laid off after an injury that put him out for 6 weeks. (Ever broke your tailbone? I have. Twice. And Mister Boss Man, the agony my darling felt those 6 weeks from being injured on YOUR farm was all too real.)

I no longer had ANY funds to make up for the extra costs. Faced with closing KP down, I stood before my Purrfectionistas, my friends, and laid it all out. I was done for. I had never been one to give up easily, but this is a woman who couldn't even keep her electricity on, much less keep up with a business that was steadily costing money to run, and not giving anything back.

Those same friends didn't give up so easy. Always understanding and always kind, they cheered me on the days I needed heroes, the days I thought I could never smile.

But I did slow down. I took more time to fix my own problems, getting jobs while my fiance'e searched desperately for work. (He has a blip on his background that I won't bother going into,  at least not in this blog.)

I even started working towards my GED, an accomplishment that I couldn't be more proud of.

My mom passed in September 2012 and threw me for another loop. My friends in real life, online, and KP suffered horribly. I was in a foul mood for months, easy to piss off, and quick to tear up. I was a wreck.

Then one shiny day, I woke up with a smile. I had woken to a busy, BUSY day of school, work, and advertising to get KP back up and running. It felt natural, right some how. Kids were put on the school bus, I worked until 6pm, came home to homework & baths (Thank Goodness dinner is DADDY's job) and tucked safely into bed.

Oh how I wanted to rest my tired feet. Instead,  I spent the next 48 hours posting brand new items, at amazing prices, and advertising the hell out of my shop. If you were on Facebook in those 48 hours, I apologize for the spam in your news feeds.

It worked. I've since spent several 48 hour blocks on the shop, and three weeks later, I'm consistently selling enough that I have a few bucks saved to start making up those lost giveaway items and packages that I owe.

It's neverending. It's exhausting. Tuesday through Friday I am home with my children, and constantly chugging through on KP. If I don't post sales and discounts,  I don't sell. If I don't constantly reach out to NEW fans, I don't sell. Tuesday through Friday, I'm a walking zombie. Saturday through Monday, I work from 9 - 7, if not later. Generally, I fall asleep after work, or work on a Facebook page that I admin for in my rare free time.

So why did I wake up smiling?

Because simply put, I woke up with a plan. I had gained my GED with high scores, had a plan for college (for my lifetime choice of career) if I could just get my hands on a laptop, and I knew what I would have to do to see KP shine once again.

For the first time in over a year, I felt in control, and blessed. I knew it would be hard, and it HAS been. However, the rewards of self worth, confidence, and this newfound smile makes every single day worth it.

I couldn't have done it without my Purrfectionistas, my amazing fiance'e, and three amazing children who understand more than they should about being poor and hard times.

Yep. I'm pretty damned blessed and I'm loving every crazy, hectic, stressful moment.

DIY Tips & Tricks from Around the Web

Are you a crafter? Do you want to be? Do you want tricks to make your life in general simpler? I've compiled some of the best tips & tricks I've read around the web, plus included links! Read on. Because if you don't, Miss Bossy Ass Kittn will be sad.

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"If you have ever had to give eye drops to a small child, you know how hard it can be. Ask you child to lay down and close his/her eyes. Place a small drop on the inside corner of the eye. The drop will slip onto the eye ball as soon as the child opens their eyes."

"Use Press'n Seal saran wrap to line your refrigerator shelves. When the shelves get dirty, just remove the wrap, toss in the trash and replace. No more scrubbing nasty food spills. (Kittn: "Other materials work as well: Vinyl Shelf Liner, Cheap Plastic Placemats, the possibilities are endless!")"

"Two boxes that should be in every home are a "Fix it" box and a "Donate" box. Whenever you child comes to you with a broken toy that you don't have time to fix instead of letting it clutter up the kitchen counter or get lost with the rest of the toys just toss it in the "Fix it" box. Next time you have the glue gun or sewing machine out look through the box to see what can be fixed. Toss anything that is too small or your kids no longer play with into the donate box and once a month (or more if needed) drop the items off at the donation center."
diy home sweet home

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For picture frames with two holes, hang them evenly and easily by placing a single strip of masking tape over the back covering the two holes. Mark each end of the tape where the holes are located for hanging the frame. Take the tape off and place it on your wall. Make sure it is level then hammer a nail in at each pen mark.
Adventures in Creating has the entire tutorial.
(Toothpaste also makes picture hanging so much easier!)

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Tint glasses any color you'd like with modge podge and food coloring! Momtastic has the scoop!

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If your kids are anything like mine, they NEVER pay attention when opening or shutting doors. Some days, it's frequent to hear a bang and immediate blood curdlinh screams from whoever got their fingers smashed. Use a cut up swimming pool noodle ($1.00!) for a door stopper!
Source: Diana Mattoni

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Expensive picture frames are super cute. Expensive LOOKING frames that you made yourself are better. Use scrap paper over a cheap frame instead!
FaveCrafts

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Do you have stuffed animals EVERYWHERE? Put em in a bean bag chair slip cover! It looks adorable and becomes an extra seat in your child's room!
Pink and Green Mama

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Have you seen the beautiful painted wine glasses sold on Facebook and Etsy? They are actually pretty simple to make! Check out Something Turquoise if you'd like to try it. I will be giving it a try for our wedding glasses!

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Did you know that you CAN paint letters and words on wood perfectly and even every single time? Trace the full outline of your word with a ball point pen over paper to leave a traced indent in the wood. This indent actually holds the paint!
That's My Letter

♥♥♥~♡♡♡

What about you Purrfectionistas? Do you have any tips to make your life either prettier or easier? Share them here!

**Important KP Information You Might Have Missed**
I'm giving away a set of CUTE little piggy hair bows. Giveaway here. Very few entries at time of posting this blog!

♧♣The Saint Patrick's Day sale is here, and everything green is 25-50% off!

Exclusive 20% off discount when you shop at Crusade Boutique on Storenvy and enter "KITT20" at checkout! You can also shop the Crusade Boutique Facebook Page and follow the instructions for ordering underneath the items or by sending a PM on the page. Just remember to send your coupon code "KITT20" via message as well!

St. Patrick's Day is almost here!

St. Patrick's Day just happens to be my favorite holiday.

This is pretty predictable since St. Patrick's Day celebrated everything I love: my Irish roots, the color green, and good old fashioned rowdy fun.

(To celebrate: All green items are on sale 25% ~ 50% off at Kittn's Purrfections)

But did you know the answers to these questions about my favorite holiday?

1. Who was St. Patrick?

St. Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland, although he was born in Britain, around 385AD. His parents Calpurnius and Conchessa were Roman citizens living in either Scotland or Wales, according to different versions of his story.

2. When did St. Patrick come to Ireland?

As a boy of 14 he was captured and taken to Ireland where he spent six years in slavery herding sheep. He returned to Ireland in his 30s as a missionary among the Celtic pagans.

3. What about the symbol of the clover?

Legend has it that St. Patrick used the native shamrock as a symbol of the holy trinity when preaching and brought the Latin alphabet to Ireland.

4. What did St. Patrick do to be celebrated?

Miracles attributed to him include the driving of serpents out of Ireland. However, evidence suggests post-glacial Ireland never had any snakes in the first place.

5. We celebrate with green, but what color should St. Patrick's Day have been?

Wearing green, eating green food and even drinking green beer, is said to commemorate St Patrick's use of the shamrock - although blue was the original colour of his vestments.

6. Why has this holiday become a day to get drunk?

St Patrick was said to have proclaimed that everyone should have a drop of the "hard stuff" on his feast day after chastising an innkeeper who served a short measure of whiskey. In the custom known as "drowning the shamrock", the shamrock that has been worn on a lapel or hat is put in the last drink of the evening.

7. Popular Irish toasts on St Patrick's Day, include may the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends beneath it never fall out.

8. When was the first St. Patrick's Day?

St. Patrick's Day was first celebrated in America in Boston, Massachusetts, in 1737. Around 34 million modern Americans claim Irish ancestry.

9.When did St. Patrick die?

It is believed that St Patrick died on March 17 in 461AD. It is a national holiday in Ireland, and on the island of Montserrat in the Caribbean, which was founded by Irish refugees. It is a bank holiday in Northern Ireland and a provincial holiday in the Canadian province of Newfoundland.

10. Dublin has a parade that attracts hundreds of thousands of people, while in Chicago the river is dyed green for a few hours. The biggest parade is normally held in New York, while the largest celebration in the southern hemisphere is in Sydney, Australia.

Pictured: Sydney Opera House on St. Patrick's Day

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Exclusive 20% off discount when you shop at Crusade Boutique on Storenvy and enter "KITT20" at checkout! You can also shop the Crusade Boutique Facebook Page and follow the instructions for ordering underneath the items or by sending a PM on the page. Just remember to send your coupon code "KITT20" via message as well!

Whew. A day of pretty ribbon, and a feeling of satisfaction

I was a busy kitty today.

Up until the past two weeks, I have had one order every few months.

In the last two weeks I have had quite a few  orders.

I'm perky right now. :)

Let's see:
12 Hairbows,
4 Clothing Items,
3 sets of Earrings,
7 Necklace sets,
6 Boys' Bow Ties
4 Bracelets
And 3 No Sew Fleece Baby Blankets.

I've been rocking it too.

Packaged Up:
6 Hair Bows,
4 Clothing Items, 
3 Sets of Earrings,
& 7 Necklace sets.

I am currently waiting for more ribbon for 3 of those bows. Frustrating! I thought I had TWO rolls.

Good thing my supplier ships rush if needed for no extra money. :)

Anyway, it's been a heck of a two weeks.

First, I reached 1,500 Fans in the middle of my "Wanna Be 2000 Fans Sale" (but that's a story for another blog.)

Then, those 1500 fans decided they really liked my products. Kittn couldn't be more proud.

Less than a week later,  I reached 1600 fans. I'd be lying if I didn't give myself some credit.  I was out there networking like crazy, not only on Facebook, but Tumblr,  Twitter, Pinterest, and anyone in the mighty internet world who never pretended to be interested.

At one point, I stayed up 48 hours, just getting the old shop back to order after being closed for so long. I immensely enjoyed every minute of it.

Keep 'em coming guys!

Pictured: Order for Holly shipping out today
And the 6 Hair Bows I have completed.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥
Exclusive 20% off discount when you shop at Crusade Boutique on Storenvy and enter "KITT20" at checkout! You can also shop the Crusade Boutique Facebook Page and follow the instructions for ordering underneath the items or by sending a PM on the page. Just remember to send your coupon code "KITT20" via message as well!

20% Discount Off Your Entire Order at Crusade Boutique - KP Exclusive!

A fellow shop owner has provided you and all of my Purrfectionistas one heck of a deal!

But first, let me give you a little idea of what Crusade Boutique is about!

CB offers Juniors, Women's & Plus Size Women's Apparel that is PROUDLY "Made in the USA" They carry size Small to 6XL!
I have included a few pictures of the SUPER cute clothes! I'm always proud to shop USA if I have a choice. :)

Anywho, just for being a Purrfectionista you get 20% off your entire order at Crusade Boutique! EXCLUSIVE and ONLY available to KP fans!
How do you claim this wonderful prize?
Easy, peazy!

You can receive your exclusive 20% off discount when you shop at Crusade Boutique on Storenvy and enter "KITT20" at checkout!

You can also shop the Crusade Boutique Facebook Page and follow the instructions for ordering underneath the items or by sending a PM on the page. Just remember to send your coupon code "KITT20" via message as well!

(No worries! I will include this information under all posts for you to find.)

Tristan, thank you soo much!

Purrfectionistas, don't forget to show your love and thanks in comments. :)

How to Hide Your Activity on Pages (Facebook Tutorial)

1. Go to your profile. Under your timeline cover are several boxes including "Friends" and "Notes". Click the little arrow to see more.
2. Click the box that says "Likes".
3. To the far right of your screen, click "Edit".
4. Next to each group of Likes, click the globe.
5. Click "Only Me".
6. Make sure to change the settings for "Other Pages You've Liked" as well.
7. Return to the top right of your screen and click "Done Editing".
8. Enjoy being able to comment without it showing in your mama, pastor, friends' newsfeeds!

THE DRESS. Squeeeee!!!!

On Christmas Eve 2009, Griff proposed to me with his mother's ring in front of his family, the only family I've ever felt that I belonged to.

Since that day, I have searched all over the world for the perfect dress.

I found one in March 2011 but after discovering that finances did not allow for a marriage, much less a wedding, I grew disheartened and deleted every trace of wedding planning from my life.

This year, we decided to do it. We were setting a date, FINALIZING it, even. We would not budge this time, consequences be damned.

So I had to get all eye of the tiger on my dress hunt because we chose a date.

In. September.
Of. THIS. Year.

This meant no more idle day dreams of my wedding day, but rock solid, concrete decisions.

Those that know me are laughing their ASSES off at me. Just know that I sit here sticking out my tongue at ALL OF YOU.

I found a dress shortly after I started searching. I was DETERMINED that I could find it somewhere handmade and cheap. I didn't. It was too extravagant of a choice. I had to do like many brides all around the world do: walk away.

Granted, it really wasn't that hard. I've never been one to spend a ton of money on myself, especially for a one-day outfit and the price tag on this one was outrageous. However, this did mean that the dress-hunt started over.

Then, I found this. The most perfect wedding dress ever. At one hell of a price. All HANDMADE, AND 100% CUSTOM TAILORED.

Yeah. I kicked that dress-hunt's ASS.

THEN, I also found bridesmaids dresses here. In my bridesmaids' budgets? Check. Pleasing to the bridesmaids? Check. Pleasing to the bride. Flippin' check.

Now, I shall stress about flowers, music, freaking cakes, but about The Dress no longer.

Aline Romantic ivory layered Organza Wedding by MermaidBridal

Valentine's Day on a Budget

Whew. Valentine's Day is only 2 days away.

Are you scrambling to find the perfect Valentine's Day treat on a tight budget?

In our family, we certainly are. Our wedding is in September so we don't have much spare cash.

However, Valentine's Day isn't really about the gifts is it? Here are some great ideas to make your special Valentine smile!

Romantic Date for Two: 
If you can’t afford a babysitter, set up a table for two after the kids go to bed. You can still have a romantic meal at home without breaking the budget with a fancy night out. Find all those fancy foods at the supermarket and make a feast that rivals any restaurants by enlisting help from cookbooks and Web sites. I guarantee that your spouse will appreciate all your efforts.

Coupons and Chores: 
What could say more to someone than you actually doing something for them? Give your spouse the day off and pick up the slack of the chores for them. Take the dog for a walk, take out the trash, wash the car, get the oil changed – do anything that they would do that day so that they can sit and relax. A more creative way of doing the same thing would be to create coupons for your spouse. Include items that you know they would hate doing and write them on construction paper. An envelope of coupons shows how much you appreciate them and as long as they don't use all the coupons at once, it is a gift that you can give throughout the year.

Monthly Clubs: 
Give your spouse something and then offer them the opportunity to receive it monthly. It can be something inexpensive like a batch of their favorite cookies or a date night to the dollar movie each month – just something that you can afford to do monthly and will show how much you appreciate and love them.

Heartfelt Lunches: 
Cooking for someone is one of the greatest acts of love. Maybe you don't think of it because you do it all the time, but each dish you make is filled with love and care for someone else. Make your spouse a lunch filled with heart shaped sandwiches or use the the color red throughout all of the dishes. You could also surprise your spouse at work and bring them their lunch filled with heartfelt goodies in person. Sharing food with them in a creative way shows how much you really care.

I Heart You: 
Show your love by making your spouse a good old-fashioned valentine. Using red construction paper, lace doilies and crayons, cut out paper hearts just like you did when you were little. No one can resist a homemade Valentine, not even when you are an adult! Want to make a more powerful statement? Include a letter about what that person means to you. There is nothing more powerful than the written word!

Send them searching:
Send your loved ones on a Valentine’s Day themed scavenger hunt. Use construction paper to cut out heart shapes and share a special memory on each heart that will lead them to the next clue!

Recall family moments:
Sit down as a family and write down your favorite family moments. Put them in an old box or a jar. You can decorate it together to display in your home, adding to the jar every Valentine’s Day. You will have a meaningful decoration and another great family memory!

Surprise them with a visit:
Show up unexpectedly to have lunch with the kids at school. Or, if possible, make a surprise visit at your children or significant other’s place of work. Create a printed agenda for the evening, including the menu and any other activities. Share it as you leave so they will look forward to what’s to come!

I will add more as I think of them, or as I discover them on the mighty internet.

Do you have any suggestions?

~~~Deals I found~~~

Sweet deals
Krispy Kreme: Now through February 14, when you buy a dozen donuts, you get 12 free Valentine’s Day gift cards. Each card is good for a free donut, including two limited-time heart-shaped iced donuts with sprinkles.

Baskin Robbins: The ice cream shop’s flavor of the month has chocolate ice cream and chocolate-flavored hearts with raspberry filling. It comes pretty much any way you want it, the only bummer is it isn’t any cheaper than usual.

Dunkin Donuts: Throughout the entire month of February, DD is offering Cupid’s Choice Donut: a heart-shaped donut filled with Bavarian Kreme and topped with strawberry flavored icing and heart-shaped sprinkles. Unfortunately, no deal involved with this deliciousness – but if all you need is one sweet treat, it’s a good one.

Dairy Queen: The ultimate Valentine’s Day blizzard is back. DQ is offering the Choco Covered Strawberry blizzard and various heart-shaped ice cream cakes.

Cold Stone Creamery: The expert ice cream maker is offering Valentine-themed gift cards. If you and the sweetie are too full from the romantic dinner, a gift card for dessert is a great way to keep the celebration going.

Pretzelmaker – Get a heart-shaped pretzel with every pretzel purchased. The catch is you have to like the company on Facebook.

Flowers
ProFlowers.com: If you’re looking for a deal on flowers, for any occasion, check out this flower shop’s coupon page. For Valentine’s Day specials, ProFlowers is offering 20% off orders of at least $39. If you want something a little cheaper, you can still get 15% off lower-priced options, and there’s even a 50% off deal. The only tricky part is these discounts don’t cover shipping, so make sure you factor that in, and maybe look for an extra coupon code online.

FloraFlora.com: This flower shop has a $6.95 flat rate for shipping on Valentine’s Day. You also get an extra 15% off with the coupon code CUPID12.

Dining Deals
Waffle House: The Ultimate Valentine’s Day Experience: “Scattered, Smothered, and covered” is once again a romantic phrase for Valentine’s Day fine dining. For daters looking for a more affordable dinner option, Waffle House is offering reservations for a romantic candle-lit atmosphere. Make sure to check for participating locations.

White Castle: The fast-food joint is also once again offering a fine dining option with table service and candlelight dinner. You can even send your significant other a “White Castle Valentine’s Day SliderGram” on Facebook.

Qdoba Mexican Grill: Here’s a unique Valentine’s Day deal. The Mexican restaurant is offering a free meal to people who share a kiss with a significant other, friend, family member, or “even an understanding stranger at the cash register.” Give a kiss and get a second entrée of equal or lesser value for free.

Groupon: The popular coupon site has tons of Valentine’s-themed deals and discounts. There’s a wide range of deals including bottles of wine, massages, hotel deals and gift baskets. Scroll to the bottom of the main Valentine’s Day page, and the site has deals categorized by gifts for men, gifts for women, popular gifts and gift cards.

Facebook gifts: Choose from hundreds of gifts in categories like Wine, Food, Style, and Gift Cards & Digital. All you have to do is select the gift you want to give, attach a card, and send!

Living Social: The deal site also has tons of Valentine’s-themed coupons that you can either give as a gift, or share with your significant other. Just enter your city and see what deals are available in your area.

Savvysugar: Check out the site’s ideas for cheap ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Fat Wallet: The site has tons of last-minute gift ideas and coupon codes for extra savings on things like flowers, candy and even jewelry. Check out the full list of Valentine’s Deals.

RetailMeNot: The coupon site has a wide variety of Valentine’s Day deals and you can browse them by category!

Defining Love

Define Love:   1.  tender and passionate affection for another person.   2.  deep and strong affection for a friend or relative.   

So I defined love.  Big deal.  The true definition of love, however, is different for everyone.  So here I go again, spouting off and pretending to know something about love, and wondering, does anyone really know what "true" love is?  So instead of saying to you, this is how love is defined, instead, the following is my personal experience of what love is.  

When I was an infant, I loved my mother.   Thus, beginning my first personal experience with love.  The love between mother and child is a strong love, probably the strongest that exists.  Mother vows to protect child, and child need do nothing but exist.  In return, child gives her loyalty and unconditional trust to Mother.  

However, as I grew, and my willingness to allow the rest of the world in, I learned a different love.   My second love became nature, and everything in it.. especially animals. My love for animals became almost a mystical emotion, a passion that most children feel at one time or another, but dies over the years. 
My love did not die. Instead, that love turned into a passion for animals, and a dream to someday rescue animals in need of any kind of help, be it shelter, food, or security from cruel humans. (Trust me, Mankind is a cruel beast indeed.) This prepared me for the next kind of love.  

A love between a woman and a man, is as mysterious as time itself.  It takes many broken chances with love, much heartache, and a lifetime of Mr. Wrongs to find the Mr. Right. 
I found him a couple of years back.  He literally saved my life. 

This love is a very different love than the previous two.  First, although it is a devotion like a maternal love, there is no blood ties, or anything else connecting man and woman.  Just pure adoration and respect.  
Then, a passion for animals, or other hobbies, is nothing compared to the passion between a man and a woman who are truly in love.  
So the circle goes on.

I have now become the mother, and someday my children will discover love on their own, hopefully. 

Loyalty to family, passion for life, and the love between husband and wife. 

So what does love mean to me?  It means being passionate about something, knowing you were meant to step forward, and going for it with everything you have., even if it hurts along the way.   

And thus, I defined love.

A True Fairy Tale from my Past

Once upon a time there was a princess - a beautful fair redhead.
She was locked away in an icy tower protected by a dragon named Falsehoods. She was told that unless she could slay her dragon on her own, she would never be free.

A knight in shining armor came along and saw the beautiful maiden, and was hurt by the fact that she was a victim of her Falsehoods. He tried to save her again, and again, and on the 5th try, told her that she MUST do it on her own so that they could live happily ever after.

She tried. Oh, she tried so hard. And in a mighty thrust of her sword, the Falsehood dragon was dead.

But the knight had grown weary of waiting for her to defeat the dragon on her own, and had turned away from her.

So instead of being free like she had always dreamed, she locked herself back in her tower and mourned the loss of the man she had come to love, for all eternity. And lived sadly, ever after.   Goodbye, her good knight.

Simply a Love Story by Yours Truly

Coming down her hallway, she looked up, and there he was, laying on her couch like he was meant to be there. Hell, who was she kidding, he WAS meant to be there, not on her couch, but in her bed. She'd known it from the night they'd met, that he was something special, and nothing she'd ever known before. He whispered "Hi Beautiful" and as always, his words made her smile, her heart race, and she fell in love with him even more. She noticed this every time he spoke to her, or even looked at her. She was changing, into something she had never wanted to be. Anytime she saw a mirror, she checked her hair, made sure she looked just right for him, though in reality, she knew he saw her as beautiful, and as she checked the mirror one last time, she saw it too. Finally, she could honestly see herself the way most men did. Red hair, gorgeous green eyes that could seduce in a heartbeat, and a body that could bring almost any man to his knees if used the right way. But she didn't need these things to seduce HIM. When she looked into his eyes, she knew that he didn't see the outer beauty, he saw the real person she was. This, was why her hands were shaking, why she grew weak every single time he came near her. She had never let a man get this close to her, and now, looking down her hallway towards him, all she wanted him to do was take her in his arms, and tell her he loved her. Neither of them had actually spoken the words, but she knew she was in love with him, now more then ever. But did he feel the same way? She stepped out of her hallway, into the living room, and watched his reaction, hoping for him to love her and look at her just the way she was looking at him now. With wonderment, and eyes that spoke only of passion for each other. And when she looked, she thought she saw it. Without speaking, she curled up next to him on the couch, and wrapped her arms around him, just needing to feel his body pressed against her, not in a sexual way, but in an embrace showing him how much she cared, even if she was too afraid to say it out loud. She pushed all thoughts of love or romance, or even the future out of her mind, and just let herself be swept away by the moment, by the feel of his body under her hands, and by his touch. God, but was his touch a beautiful thing. Never sexual, only lingering fingertips touching her skin in ways she never imagined erotic, but somehow erotic anyway. Then, he did it. He kissed her, and she was lost to him. Completely lost. All she had to do was just drift away while he touched her, and showed her exactly what she needed. And as the kiss broke, he said the words she needed to hear. Forcing her to look at him, he looked into those beautiful green eyes, and said those three promising and yet frightful words -- "I love you". 

"I love the way you taste, the way you feel, the way you smell." He paused then, and in that moment she paused too. Her whole world just stopped. She'd been waiting so long to hear these words, but something in them made her think. He had told her he wasn't here looking for love, just to work and start over his life. What if loving her ruined all that for him? This was her double edged sword. Be greedy, or walk away so that he could live out his life the way he wanted to, without her as a distraction. So she held him tighter, not repeating the words that she had wanted so badly to say, and almost cried, knowing that she would have to let the one man she ever truly felt this way about go. So she chose to be greedy for that moment, took all of him in she could, and knew that later she would have to walk away and break his heart so that he would be happy. She wasn't right for him, she knew that now, but damn, it broke her heart to realize it. With her silence, he watched her reaction, and it made him ache. What if he had been wrong to tell her he was in love with her? He really didn't mean to scare her, he just wanted her to know he loved her, even if it wasn't reciprocated. He tried to keep silent, but his fear of her walking away took over, and as she held on to him tighter without saying anything, he grew afraid himself. She can't walk away from him now can she? So, he did what he knew best, and he touched her, letting her feel his love through his touch, and hoping she would understand that she didn't HAVE to love him back, just know that he loved her. Her body reacted to his touch in every way he wanted it to. In just a few moments, she was pressing closer to him in the most erotic way. He'd never had her, but oh, how he wanted her now. If she was to walk away, at least he would have this memory of her. 

She laid there in his arms, letting his hands do as they wished, knowing that this would be the only night they would have together, and let it all fade from her mind. All she wanted was him for this one night. That wasn't too much to ask for was it? As he rolled on top of her, and their kisses became more passionate, she knew no other man would ever have her this way again, that this connection would always remain between them no matter how far apart they were. He tried to get her to follow him to her room, but her heart revolted. If she made love to him in that bed, every time she slept there, she would be haunted by memories of him, of the love she had to walk away from. So they made love right there on the couch, neither one saying a word, until the end, when her mouth did the most treacherous of things, and whispered "I love you too." 

As he started his truck outside of her house, he couldn't stop thinking of her, and how she had felt tonight. He had come to Texas to concentrate on his career, but that saucy, smartassed redhead had changed everything. Oh well, time to push her out of his mind, after all, he had a long drive ahead of him if he was going to be at work tomorrow. What was he thinking staying so late with home 4 hours away? As he put the truck into gear, and turned onto the highway, the old memories began to haunt him again. Not of her, but of a woman long ago, who had destroyed him, and had been the true reason for his moving to Texas. 

Ashley had seemed like the perfect woman. As a bride she had been beautiful, and remained that way even after. The perfect match for someone like him. She always had a smile on her face when he came home from work, and dinner was ready and hot. And damn, how the woman got to him in bed. Even now, thinking of it, he could still feel her body against him, and it made him ache for happier times, for Ashley who was wild in bed, wilder then he had ever imagined. 

He should have never come home early from work, but he wanted to surprise her. He hadn't been able to stop thinking of Ashley all day, and he told his boss he wasn't feeling well, and stopped by the florist. Hell, he'd even picked up her favorite chocolates, trying to make sure everything was perfect. Where had he gone wrong? He could still remember the sounds coming from their bedroom, the sounds he had been looking forward to all day. Only it wasn't his name she was calling. As he opened the door to their room, he watched the wild bitch on top of his best friend, and the flowers dropped. Oh, she had been a good bitch alright, deceiving him, making him blind up until that very last moment. No wonder they said love was blind. 

And now there was this redhead. Lord, was he in over his head this time. She hated cooking, hated cleaning, and refused to settle down and be domesticated. What the hell was his heart thinking falling for her? She was everything he hated in a woman. Rebellious and smartassed, that girl had a way of pissing him off in a way that turned him on in more ways than one. And the worst part? He didn't even WANT her to change. He liked her just like that. Was it because she was so different from Ashley? It was something he would have to think more on.

 She heard his truck start and take off, and her heart ached. She was so confused. She dressed for bed, and as she brushed her teeth and looked into the mirror she saw the sorrow in her eyes. Did he see it too? Of course he did. He could read her inner thoughts and almost always knew when she was upset. As she pulled back the covers of her bed and let her body nestle into her warm covers, she stretched out and tried to erase all thoughts of him so that she could sleep. But sleep wouldn't come, and she ended up thinking of the night they had met. It had been amazing, though she had had WAY too much to drink. 

She was supposed to go to the bar with some friends, but when she got off work, she was too tired, and heartbroken from a long relationship just ending. She had thought Daniel was everything she had ever wanted, and had been so wrong. Driving home from work, her cell phone rang, and it was one of her friends. Lisa was asking her to come to a beach party with her, but she just didn't feel up to it. So she told Lisa no, and drove home, but something kept nagging at her. Why didn't she go? After all, it wasn't like her ex was sitting there saddened by the loss of what they had shared. She already knew he had been out with friends that night, having the time of his life. So as she parked her truck outside of her house, she called Lisa back. With a few words, it was agreed that she would meet Lisa, and Lisa would take her to the party since she didn't know anyone except Lisa. She didn't even bother dressing up, it was just the beach, and she didn't plan on meeting any guys. She put on her fake smile for Lisa, and when she got out of Lisa's boyfriend's truck at the beach, she remembered this was her element, and it was time to forget about her ex. So she jumped out, put that fake smile back on, and jumped right in the middle of the party. He had walked up to her, and offered her a beer. Oh, but he was gorgeous. And the fact that he seemed to actually care about the environment made her curious. Who the hell was this guy? She walked away from him, turning instead to his friend, afraid of the attraction she had felt immediately. There was no way she was walking back into a relationship again. No way in hell she would let herself become attracted to a man and let him stomp all over her heart. 

As the party went on, she found herself having more fun then she had expected, and her eyes kept turning towards him, her ears to his voice. She was so curious about who he was, and where he was from, but fear kept taking over. But it didn't take too many beers for her, and she felt safe. So she walked up to him, and as soon as she looked up into his eyes, she knew it. There was something real about Destiny. Maybe nothing would come out of meeting him, but she knew he had been there for some reason, just as she had come to this party unknowingly meeting up with the Fates and what they had in mind for her. He was from San Antonio, and she knew she would probably never see him again. But by the end of the night, they had exchanged phone numbers and he had promised to call her. And he had kept his word. 

It had been a long time before she had seen him again, this time him inviting her to take a trip with him to Corpus Christi. He had been such a gentleman, and by the time the weekend was over, she had been wishing it would never end. But it had to, and thoughts of him kept her awake every night. Why did he have to live so far away? And what was this feeling deep inside her chest for a man she had seen only twice in her entire life? They talked on the phone almost every night, and a few months later he was back down for a weekend at her house. Tonight had been the end of that wonderful weekend, and as she drifted off to sleep, all she could think of was his touch, and she swore she could still feel his fingers on her body. But what was she going to do about the fact hat he didn't need her barging into his life like this? She would have to do something soon. The longer she waited to tell him how she felt, the more it would hurt in the end. But for right now, she fell asleep dreaming of his arms around her, and of a future that she knew would never exist. 

He walked up to his apartment, and entered it, and he couldn't help feeling how empty it was. She should be here, he told himself. He fell into his bed for a quick nap before work, and when he got to work, he immersed himself in it, trying not to think about her. Damn her, she was such a distraction, didn't she know the effect she had on his mind?

His mind kept going back to the night they met as well, and oh, how she had captured his attention like no other. Did he think he'd be this obsessed over her later? No, but he knew she was amazing. When she had jumped out of that truck, he had seen her, and when she introduced herself, he found himself staring into those eyes. Sure, he couldn't see the color then, at night, but they were beautiful anyway.

At first they didn't run out of things to talk about, until she had said excuse me, saw the 4 wheeler, and asked his friend to take her for a ride. What the hell? And when she came back, she was laughing, a beautiful laugh, but still hanging out with his friend. Oh well, guess she just didn't feel the attraction that he did. Wouldn't be the first time.

But then she had come sauntering over to him, and sat there beside him, and they had talked all night. He knew she was trouble form the moment she had stepped out of that truck. Redheads were always trouble. but who was he kidding? He had always loved girls that were trouble. They were fun. He wasn't looking for love, just some good old fashioned fun. And he found himself laughing with her over some of the silliest stuff.

When he drove her to her own truck, they exchanged numbers, and he found himself hoping that she would come to the beach again that night. But she didn't come, and he went home feeling slightly disappointed. But when he called her the next day, she had seemed warm enough, and the continued talking over the phone for the next few months. Then when he found out he had to go to Corpus for the weekend, the first thing he had thought of was her.

So he called, and asked if she would like to come, and when she accepted, he felt his heart race. He would be alone with her for the first time. By the end of that weekend, he had discovered there was much more to her then just a pretty girl with beautiful eyes. She was beautiful every way around. And when she looked at him and smiled, it took his breath away. She made him feel like a man of power.

Of course, she invited him back to her house for the weekend. And by the end of this weekend, he said he loved her. He was kicking himself for that now. He did love her, but she didn't need to know that. What if she was like Ashley and just used him as well? By the time he got off from work, he realized he didn't remember anything that he had worked on, and sighed. Talk about a distraction.

A Woman Never Believes in Love at First Sight (Until it happens to her.)

 Note: This is the story of the night I met Nick a.k.a. Griff. It is not meant to entertain, simply to inform.

A redhead is always trouble. They can please you in so many incredible ways.  The only problem is that in just as many devastating ways, they can break your heart.  So when he watched her walking into the bar, he was torn.

Walk out, never knowing how much trouble she could cause him, or stay, and find out if such a beautiful woman would even speak to him.  He chose the latter.   

It had been such a long day at work, and all she wanted was a nice drink to calm her nerves.  No guys for her, no way.. she'd had her fill in the past few months.  The last one, well, she just didn't even want to think of that pain right now.  She shook the images of him with the other woman out of her mind and stepped into the bar, lighting a cigarette as she sat down, grabbing a menu, and peeking at her options.   

"Hey Katie, whatcha having today?" the bartender asked.    
"Something cheap for me today, Tasha. I'm waiting on some friends to get here, and I can't afford much."

He listened to their conversation and tried to seem nonchalant.  She was even sexier up close, sitting just a few seats down from him.  It was easy to just jump right in, and he jumped in.. not even thinking about rejection.   
"Long day at work today, huh?" She glanced up at the husky voice, and was amazed at the sudden longing she felt. What the hell?   
"Yeah, you could say that." She turned back to the bartender and tried to ignore it.  She didn't believe in instant connections, and this was a bar.. not the best place to meet a guy, especially when she didn't want or need another one in her life. 

However, it wasn't long before she was no longer talking to the bartender, only to him.  When he told her where he was from, a small town called Palacios, she shook her head and realized this conversation would go nowhere.

That hell town was nothing but pain, but she smiled at the irony of it. A hot guy from a town she hated? May as well speak with him to fill her time. She still hadn't even ordered her drink, when her friends walked in.     

When she turned away from him to talk to the new people, he was disappointed.  He sure hadn't gotten very far, and his food would be arriving shortly. He'd have to leave pretty soon, and the only reason he knew her name was because the bartender had called her by it. Katie. 
Oh hell, she was already getting under his skin.. all he had to do was try to find some way to turn her attention away from those damned friends of hers and back to him.   

Then she shocked the hell out of him, by turning to him and asking him if he knew a guy named Billy Komer.  He laughed out loud in relief, and stated that yes, he knew the man. 
"Then you know Chad Boutwell, as well then?"   
"Yeah, I know him too."   
"I thought I'd seen you before.. I'm the mother of Chad's 2 year old daughter."  This was it.. the guy was going to bail and she wouldn't have to worry about getting hurt again.  She'd played the children card before.. it never failed to send the men running.  Being a single mother sometimes had its perks. 

But instead, it was her turn to be surprised, because instead of brushing her off with some kind of excuse, he slipped back into conversation with her.  When she asked him for his number, she was completely scared.  But there was something in his eyes that she hadn't seen in a while that made her feel like a woman again.. like a wanted woman.   

He had to smile when she asked for his number. Didn't this woman realize how out of his league she was?  But he quit questioning it, and told her the digits as she entered them into her cell phone. Then his food arrived and it was time for him to go.  He told her goodbye and she asked him to stay.  How could he tell her no?  He stayed until his boss called him.. and he left, hugging her before he did.   

When he touched her, she knew she was in trouble.  It felt so nice having his arms around her.  What the hell was she doing?  She barely knew this guy, but all she could think about was seeing him again.  When she sat back down next to her friends, she tried to smile but couldn't.  She couldn't get the image of his crooked smile out of her mind.  So she texted him.  If he didn't answer, she'd be safe, but if he did, she may as well try and go for it.He might hurt her, too, but damn it, for once, she was going to have her fun.   

Driving down the highway back to Palacios, he couldn't get the redhead out of his mind. Her laughter filled his thoughts, and he couldn't think of anything except what it would be like to have her laughing and being happy because of him.  When the text from her came in, he smiled to himself, whispering a silent prayer of thanks.   

"Having fun yet?" Even her texts were cute. He was getting in way over his head, this time.   
"I always do."   
"Are you going to come back after work?"   
"No, I have to drive some friends out of town. Hey, you wanna go?"   

Her heart sank. She couldn't go out of town, she had two children at home waiting for her and no babysitter. So she simply replied that she couldn't. She had children to think of.   

"Do they have carseats?"   
"Yeah."   
"Can they come too? I'd like to see you tonight."   
She had to think about it.  Her first reaction was yes, yes, YES. But she wasn't sure. After all, Palacios was a small town, and his friends would probably know her.. and it wasn't like she was a liked person in Palacios. She decided, what the hell.. if she went, and they didn't like her, and he didn't like her because they didn't like her, he was probably never worth it anyway.   
"Yeah, we'd love to go."   
"Great. I'll pick you up when I get done at work."       

She picked her girls up from the babysitters shortly after and realized she looked like hell. She'd been working all day, her makeup was gone, and she didn't have the gas to drive back home and change clothes, then come back to Bay City.  Then she thought how long the night might be, and realized her children couldn't stay out that late. 

She really wanted to see this man again, so she made a quick phone call to one of her babysitters, who stated that they couldn't do it, but they knew someone reliable and safe.  It would have to do.  She made the phone call and liked the girl, and arranged to drop them off later.

When he walked up at Walmart, her one year old child reached her arms out for him to pick her up. 
"She never does that.. she hates strangers." she whispered in awe.

Then she told him the good news.. that she had a babysitter, and she was looking forward to spending such a rare night away from the girls. She loved her children, but sometimes, a single mother has to get away.   

"Well, I don't have to drive my friends, they found a ride. You wanna do something else?" he stated in that husky voice. Oh, that voice did things to her.. and she believed she'd do anything, as long as he kept looking at her the way he was right now.   
"Yeah. I'm game for anything."    They dropped the girls off at the babysitters and he asked her what she wanted to do. They argued for a minute, her believing it was his money and he should choose.
"No, this is your night out, and you choose."
So she quickly mentioned the name of a bar she liked, and they headed there.   

By the time the night was over, she was wishing it wouldn't end. They had talked so easily, it was like they had known each other for so much longer than just a few hours. It was nice to have someone there to talk to and she realized there was no way to back down now. She just hoped he'd want to see her again. 

She took a drag off his cigarette, and he smiled.

"I believe that's my cigarette your smoking there.. that's my beer you're drinking... and I believe, this is my girl."

Then he kissed her, and she was lost, completely under his spell.  The hell with not believing in love at first sight, this man was incredible. 

Heidi Newfield - Johnny and June (Response to question 47 & 48)

Watch "Heidi Newfield performs Johnny and June" on YouTube

Blog from Tumblr ~ Posted February 10, 2013

This is my thought for the day.

Everyone has baggage. Everyone has past hurts.

Eventually someone comes along and lessens that pain. They help us remember that if it weren’t for the heartache, we would have never had them. That would be the bigger tragedy of our story.

My past still stings a bit. But he’s helped me love it as much as I love my present.

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When I love, I LOVE.

Such a powerful title for a blog, is it not?

However,  this is a trait that is both a blessing and a curse for me.

You see, when I love, I LOVE.

Break my heart? Crush it into tiny pieces?  No problem. I will love you with the last beat of my heart. (Cliche, I know, but true.)

I'm loyal as well. You might be the worst man ever, but if I love you, I LOVE you. This means NO ONE can point out your faults to me without getting an earful.

Yes, it's true that my style of love can be painful.

However, it is so powerfully beautiful that it brings a tear to my eye.

You see, I forgive and move on easily. I'm happy to do so because frankly, happy love is better than painful love. I don't want to be stuck in a painful love, so the hurtful words are forgiven before they are ever spoken. Yep. I love THAT deeply.

You know what that means? As long as you're willing to work at us, then we will make it. You can never hurt me enough to make my love fade.

After all, you don't reach forever by getting angry and throwing in the towel just because someone has a few traits that you don't like.

I love hard, I love easy, and I love him.

I'm a firm believer that love conquers all, including any battles we may have in our climb to greatness.

Reader: I challenge you. When you decide to love someone, LOVE them completely.  Despite their faults, despite any challenges,  despite all the bullshit. Love them all the way to the end.

Because really, isn't that what love is for?

Relationship Questionnaire

VALENTINE'S DAY | ASK SPECIAL

1:Do you have a crush at the moment?
Actually,  I have just one. He's got amazing eyes and a smile that lights up the room.

(Crushes are harmless as long as one NEVER acts on them.)

2:Have you ever been deeply in love?
Deeper than one could ever fathom. It's why I stay by his side even when he breaks my heart.

3:Longest relationship you've ever been in?
3 years. 6 off and on.

4:Have you ever changed for someone?
Yes. But in my opinion, we all do in many little ways. We change to compliment our partner.. to become their partner.

5:How is your relationship with your ex?
Depends on which ex. Some are complicated, some I hate, and one or two became my good friends and I still care deeply for them.

6:Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes. Too many times to name. Each time was devastating and self esteem killers.

7:Have you ever cheated?
Yes. Technically. He knew I didn't want to be with him, but the cheating still devastated him worse than if I'd sacrificed everything I was with him for (children) and walked away.

8:Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?
I am and I would. I give everyone a second chance. I'm a firm believer in them.

9:What's the most important part of a relationship?
Mutual value of the relationship. If one cares more, it just won't work. Expectations become too high.

10:Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
Flings are fun and serve a temporary purpose.  I don't mind flings if all parties involved are honest with each other.

But love is a divine and insane roller coaster that I wouldn't give up for the world.

11:When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?
No.

You need a break, we are done.

Forever is about fighting it out, climbing your individual mountains together.

If you need to separate yourself from me to fix a problem,  I am not your partner nor do I have a desire to be.

12:How many people have you ever hooked up with?
I won't discuss this one. Not now, not ever.

13:What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?
I regret leading him on. I didn't want to hurt him, so I pretended to care when I actually disliked him. Dude had issues and wouldn't let me breathe.. but he pulled suicidal crap on me and I stayed.

Attention!  Threatening suicide to keep someone with you IS abuse. I don't give a fuck WHO YOU ARE.

14:What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
When they are mature enough to face any and all consequences including emotions involved with having sex.

Most girls aren't really ready until after 21 in my opinion. Guys, psht. They don't have emotions as teens when it comes to getting their dick wet.

Please note that I am NOT talking about ALL guys or girls here.

15:Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?
In some ways, yes. But if the older person gets a Daddy or Mommy complex because they think they are "wiser", no. Been there, done that, ran the hell away from that relationshit.

16:Do you believe in "love at first sight"?
No. Lust yes. Love is about a deeper connection that only comes with secrets shared and intimacy.

17:Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?
Yes. I have fallen there. Maybe not in a conventional sense, but there was a deeper connection than just bits on a screen.

18:What do you consider a deal breaker?
Cheating.  I gave a few second chances. Never again.

19:How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
When you dread seeing them. When you think only bitter thoughts about them. When the bad outweighs the good, more than temporarily..

20:Are you currently in a relationship?
Yes.

21:Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?
Yes. But after time has healed, only.

22:Do you think people should date their friends?
Depends. Is he worth the risk of never being friends again after a breakup?

I've taken that risk, and even though we never were as close as we were to begin with, I'm glad for our time together.

23:How many relationships have you had?
Serious relationships - 5. In love? 2.

24:Do you think love can last forever?
Yes. If I didn't, I wouldn't try and fight so hard for forever.

25:Do you believe love can conquer all things?
Firmly.

26:Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?
No. If anything I stick around longer than I would have if they had approved.  I'm a rebel in MANY ways.

27:If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?
Not every guy who says he loves you does.

28:Do you think long distance relationships can work?
Yes. If the love is there, time and distance can not destroy it.

29:What do you notice first about another person?
Their smile and their ability to make ME smile.

30:Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?
Straight with some bi fantasies.

31:Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?
Depends.

Dangerous,  or just discomforting?

I suffer from bipolar and can be a handful some days. I'd be a hypocrite if I said no to all mental illnesses.

I will however, never put me or my children in danger.

32:Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?
Yes. A couple. The first is now serving time in prison for slitting his wife's throat with a box cutter in front of my daughter.

My daughter saved her life by holding her throat closed and calling 911. At only 6 years old.

He gets out this year, and will receive custody along with moving my daughter out of the state.

Tell me how the system works for victims.  It doesn't.

33:Do you want to get married one day?
Yes. I really do. But only if both of us are certain about forever. Divorce is not an option, and if you think it is, I won't marry you.

34:What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?
Bad juju. Anyone I know who has done it, has broken up soon after.

Symbols are different though. I'm getting a Griffin on my back, because even if I leave Griff, I've always thought Griffins were pretty fucking cool.

35:Could you be in a relationship without sex?
Yes. I'd miss it though.

Wait. Does this include hand jobs and oral? Because if so, no. Intimacy is a wonderful thing and important to relationships.

36:Are you still a virgin?
Bahahaha!

37:What's more important: Looks or personality?
Personality.. but looks is what starts the attraction.

38:Do you enjoy love films?
Yes. I'm mooshy that way.

39:Have you ever given anyone/received roses?
Received and given.

I like getting them for no reason.

But never roses. I prefer an off the wall flower, such as daisies and sunflowers.

Sending me flowers just because it's a special occasion takes all the romance out of it.

40:Have you ever had a valentine?
Who writes these questions?

41:What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?
Dinner at some quiet Italian restaurant,  a few drinks possibly at a Karaoke bar, ending in a hotel room with a Jacuzzi, rose petals and other romantic gestures. Then love making until the sun comes up.

42:Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?
Yes. I think it is the WORST play.

We teach our kids that this is the greatest love story of all time.

Then we wonder why many lovers commit suicide when left.

No one will ever be that important.  Love doesn't hurt that way.

And why are we encouraging forbidden love? :shudders: Shakespeare romanticized everything in love that makes a person weak. Instead,  we should be encouraging our kids to love themselves as part of humanity first.. because once they do, loving others will be easy.

43:What's more important: Your partner or your friends?
Depends.  I've got only one friend more important than Nick.

44:Would you consider yourself "romantic"?
Very. I leave little love notes all around,  and I still write "I love ______" on everything.  I do little things for my partner that many times go unnoticed,  not because I want to be noticed,  but because I enjoy doing sweet little gestures for the person I love.

45:Could you imagine dating one of your current friends?
Yes.

46:Have you ever been "friendzoned"?
God, yes. Ouch.

47:Which "famous couple" is your favorite?
Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash. (Hear: Johnny & June by Heidi Newfield)

48:What's your favorite love song?
Either the one in 47 or I Need You by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.

Or both. Yeah, both.

49:Have you ever broken someone's heart?
A few times.

50:If you're single, why do you think you are?
N/A

51:Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?
Poor nice guys win this girls heart every time. Don't think I've ever dated anyone with money, but I have dated douchebags. And no thanks. Never again.

52:Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?
Yes! I have a very good head on my shoulders when I'm outside looking in. When it's personal,  not so much.

53:Are you jealous of couples when you're single?
Not at all. I'm usually single for a reason.

54:How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?
That depends. Is someone reluctant to do it? Are there actual good excuses for why? IE: Baby mama drama, parents, family, etc.

If he is reluctant and doesn't have a good excuse, boy's hiding something. 

Just remember to be nice and let him know that it's important to you. If it's important to you, it should be to him as well.

55:Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?
Neither. Griff would tell you different though. I just have a MAJOR problem with his conniving baby mama.

56:Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?
Yes, actually.  I'm still paying the consequences of that mistake.

57:Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?
Yes. YES. A THOUSAND TIMES, YES! See Question 42.

58:Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?
This is another one that depends. I'm usually pretty dominant but submissive in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom, no one can tell me what to do. I make my own decisions. I do take advice to heart though.

59:Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?

60:What's your opinion on open relationships?
To each their own. I, however,  do not share nor do I play well with others.

61:Who's more important: Your partner or your family?
My partner without a doubt.  I extremely dislike my family.  I don't even know how their blood runs through my veins, we are so different.

My family is bitter, selfish, and cruel.

I am happy,  compassionate, and loving.

62:How do you define "cheating"?
Anything you wouldn't want your partner to find out about. Intimacy on any level with someone outside of your relationship, excluding permission from those in open relationships of course.

63:Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?
Fuck no. I like porn. I even SEND Nick porn.

64:Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?
Somewhat. The commercialisation, definitely.  Using it as an excuse to celebrate love? Not overrated at all.

65:Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?
Most definitely.