I'm beginning to think about the future quite a bit.
I know that sounds like it's a little late, but frankly, I've been too busy just getting through the present, crossing bridges as I get to them because there just seemed to be so damned many of them. Many of those bridges were built by me. Some were not.
I feel something is about to give, though. I'm sitting right here on the very edge of being broke, and FINALLY doing something about it. I'm close.
So I've allowed myself to think a little further into the future.. to consider the women I would like my daughters to grow up to be (definitely not like their mother).
This poses a slight worry when watching tv. (For those who are unfamiliar, I don't watch much tv. Truth is, I think maybe I'm just too sensitive for tv. It depresses me.)
On some true crime show, a young woman had gotten into drugs & prostitution, both tragedies in their own rights.
You know who missed her when she died? Her mama. For two years, the young girl struggled through the seedier parts of life while calling mama every week and telling her she was doing "just fine" in school.
Be it fear of disappointment, or protecting her mother, I'm not sure. All I know is that if only her mother had known, they might have gotten through it together.
So, while I'm not quite sure what kind of people my daughters will turn out to be, I ask only this: No matter what mistakes you make, no matter what situation you find yourself in, call mama. Come home. Don't suffer alone. I'm strong enough to handle your darkest sorrows, and I love you enough to get over ANY disappointments.
No one on this Earth will ever love you as much as I do. Mistakes WILL be made. I've made them and everyone you've ever known has made them. There's no mistake too big to come back from.